We live in a busy world. You’re busy. I’m busy. We’re all busy. I don’t know anyone who, when asked how their week is going would say, “Oh you know, pretty boring. I actually have so much time I don't even know what to do with it all.” 

Wouldn’t that be nice?

 So, since we’ve established this is the reality of the culture we live in and it’s probably not going to change anytime soon; what do we do? How do we not only exist in this busy world, but actually thrive in it? I have one word for you my friends…. margin. No, I don’t really mean the size of borders on your word doc and no, it’s not the same as what you spread on toast…that’s margarine. Margin is what God showed us after the burn-out.

A couple of years ago, my husband and I were very busy. He was running a small business. I was attempting to cling onto my photography career while chasing after two young kids. We were both serving in our church in more than one ministry. We had our toes dipped in lots of other good things like Bible studies, volunteering at the kid’s schools and business mentorship groups. In all our ‘spare moments’, we were just trying to make sure we were spending enough time with extended family, caring for our friends, loving and serving our neighbors, and maybe thinking about exercise and healthy eating. Plus, we threw in the odd major-house-project here and there, just for kicks. 

Did that paragraph absolutely exhaust anyone else? Did it sound familiar too? 

We had created a life that was packed to the gills. There was something on the calendar every night of the week, every single week; and we were booking new stuff five or six weeks out just to fit it in.  We didn’t even look forward to the weekends because; those were packed too! This lifestyle we’d created was not sustainable. We were absolutely drowning. Our marriage was suffering. Our kids were suffering. We weren’t able to give any job, ministry, friend-in-need or family member our ‘best’ because honestly, we just didn’t have anything left to give. 

I’m not even sure what it was that finally broke the dam...but one day, we just quit it all. Okay, not actually all of it. My husband kept his job and we kept our kids in school, don’t worry. But everything else that could go? Done. Gone. Off the calendar. We probably didn’t quit everything very gracefully either come to think of it, but like I said- we were toast. We spent some time looking at our lives. At our calendar. Asking God, “how do we add stuff back in without getting swept away again?” And he gave us — Sabbath.

Okay, you’re right. 

Sabbath has existed since day 7 but we finally paid attention to it. 

If you need a refresher on the Sabbath, go back and read Genesis 2:1-3 and Exodus 20:8-11 to start. Basically, Sabbath and rest are synonyms and rest is one thing we were definitely lacking. We started observing the Sabbath as a family, not because we had to but because God gifted it to us. Starting on Friday night we shut it all down. We started with our traditional pizza/movie night. Then on Saturday morning, we slept in. We didn’t check our phones. Or our emails. Or social media. We didn’t go shopping or run errands or clean the house or work on yard projects. We just rested. And hung out as a family. And ate good food. Sometimes we’d go to brunch with family or meet up with friends for a game night. But sometimes we politely declined the invites and just stayed home and built legos with our boys while listening to audiobooks. 

As we celebrated the Sabbath each week, something began to change in our home. God began to teach us that we were not created to go-go-go all the time. We were created to live life in rhythms of work and rest with this overarching banner of worship of Him. If we aren’t doing that…we just burn out. 

After we’d recovered a bit from our season of insanity, we started talking and praying about what we should add back in. My husband and I agreed that whatever the things we said “yes” to; they needed to align with our family values and mission. We started serving in our church and in the kid’s school again…but not as much or as often. We signed the kids up for a sport or hobby… but just one at a time. We looked at our calendar at the beginning of the month and blocked off days and nights to not plan anything; and we stuck to it. We said no…a lot.  

Are you starting to see what I mean by margin? We made our life fit into the parameters of the page that we set, instead of letting everything bleed right up to the edge. 

Fast forward another two years and we’re still tweaking and adapting this idea of margin, weekly rhythms and rest. We keep learning from what’s working and what needs improvement and while no, we’re not bored; we’re far from drowning. Having margin in our lives means that when a friend asks if I can take her kids home with me from school one day because she has to work late; I can say “yes”! Having margin means when I see an empty day coming up on my calendar, I actually pray and ask God to show me what he would have me do with that day. Catch up on stuff around the house? Or maybe text a neighbor I’m trying to love on to see if she wants to go on a walk. Having margin, and rhythms means when we get invited over somewhere for dinner; we can give them a handful of days we have available because we’ve actually designated nights in our calendar as “social nights”. 

Yes, we’re both introverts so we really have to plan to be social.

Maybe this doesn't work for every family. Maybe you have to work three jobs to pay the bills or you’re caring for an aging parent on top of your five adorable, but very needy children. Maybe you’re a pastor’s wife and weekends are when work happens but during the week your kids are in school and sports so….what do you do? I’ll argue that even then there’s probably room for margin in your life. Even then, there’s room for rest. If I can encourage you to do one thing, just pray and ask the Spirit to give you wisdom with your time.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2 ESV

This fast paced world we live in is going to keep spinning and zooming around us until the day that Christ returns. We can constantly fight against busyness and being overcommitted all the dang time OR we can trust God and surrender our time to Him too. He likely has beautiful things in store for us if only we’d release that death grip we have on our calendar, believing that He will bless that step of faith. 

I’ll bet you a piece of sourdough toast with margarine it’s worth a try.


Reflection Questions: 

  1. How would you describe your pace of life right now? Are you drowning, thriving or somewhere in between? 

  2. What thing(s) in your calendar do you need to surrender to God? What’s keeping you from doing that? 

  3. Spend some time in prayer/journaling asking God to help you release control over these things.  


*Note: If you want a good place to start, Garden City by John Mark Comer the Fight Hustle, End Hurry podcast helped our family see what this could practically look like. And no, it’s not God’s Word, so definitely weigh anything you read or listen to, including this article, against what the Bible says and ask the Spirit to give you wisdom to discern what is true. 

*Originally Published in Every Little Seed Interruptions