ENTERING MY LATE 20’S, I’ve found that one of my favorite hobbies is the act of taking care of plants. Listen ,I want a forest inside my house. My introduction to house plants came by watching my mom and grandmother cultivate and grow plants. The art of watering and trimming long vine plants was lost on my young mind as I thought, “They’re just stupid plants; they don’t do anything!” 


Over the last couple of years, however, I have grown a love for those stupid plants, not only for their aesthetics but also for the mountains of health benefits they provide. It started with just one and then another, and now I’ve somehow grown my plant family to over 20 in between both my home and office space. What I had once found silly has now been beneficial in helping me to slow down. 


Watering day at my house is an event. I pick up as many as I can carry and walk them over to the kitchen sink and then I scoop up the rest and do the same. I look for new leaves and prune the ones that are draining life from the plant. I check for bugs, and if I suspect spider mites, I hit them with some neem oil. Lastly, I water each, photoshoot included. 


It’s a slow process, but I have found so much joy in watching these tiny beings grow. I’ve named each, which adds to the fun of cheering each on in their individual process. “Sapphire, look at you! You’ve got some new baby leaves!” It is a process that takes time, whether it’s to transfer them into new planters or making sure you don’t damage the root system while taking care of them. It has proven to be a great discipline, much like slowing down would be. 


THERE ARE LOTS OF THOUGHTS AND DATA ABOUT THE FAST-PACED CULTURE WE LIVE IN; the faster we go, the more drained we are. But, if we look deeper, we start to understand that there’s more than just our own mental and spiritual health at risk as we speed through our days. As God teaches me how to slow down and engage in life one step at a time, the greatest impact has been on my relationships. 


As a child, I bounced from community to community. Over time,my sense of attachment became corroded, and I developed more of an anxious attachment style. An anxious attachment style, put simply, is defined by an inconsistent environment that causes the individual to feel as if they will lose the love, affection and attention of the people close to them. 


In plant terms, inconsistent environments create shallow roots and the plant becomes weak and unhealthy. My response to this type of environment has been, “I have to let everyone know the important things about me, at least on the surface, just in case I don’t stick around.” If I lead with that assumption, then there is no need for me to share the deeper parts. 


BUT IN MORE RECENT YEARS, I HAVE STAYED IN ONE PLACE. I’ve understood that constant community with the same people has helped me grow comfortable with what that looks like to be in long-term friendships. I have learned, and still am learning, growing deep is slow work. My friends with whom I now have longevity have taught me to stay engaged and intentional with them by constantly learning and re-learning. There have been many times when I have needed to shift the wayI have approached my friends because they need different things in different seasons, and as they grow, what has been helpful in the past isn’t going to be effective over time. I have had to practice staying curious so I can fully SEE them, creating space for their own process, growth, and their emotional expression. They have also created space for me to work through changes in different seasons. This is slow, toiling, and beautiful work. 


Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says that, 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 

A time to be born, and a time to die; 

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 

A time to kill, and a time to heal; 

A time to break down, and a time to build up; 

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; 

A time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; 

A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 

A time to seek, and a time to lose; 

A time to keep, and a time to cast away; 

A time to tear, and a time to sew; 

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 

A time to love, and a time to hate; 

A time for war, and a time for peace. 


This poem in scripture has been used in many different aspects of human existence over time. However, I believe that it can also be used to remind us of the ebb and flow of relationships and the great care it takes to sustain them. Going fast is a breeding ground for anxiety and surface-level living. Instead, we must go slow and cultivate deep roots in the ever-changing ecosystem of our lives.

SETTLE IN

Get comfortable in your space with a blanket or cup of coffee. Set distractions aside to just BE with the Father God, the Holy Spirit, and the Son Jesus. After a few deep breaths, invite the Holy Spirit to speak through a moment of prayer.

  1. What is on your mind today? 
  2. List three things you are thankful for. 
  3. Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 . Reread it once more. What words or phrases stood out to you?
  4. Begin talking with God. Write out your thoughts and prayers.

 

Originally Published in Every Little Seed | Slow Down.